I fail to understand why the American Political Machine grants so much gravity to what the hell they think in Iowa. I get that it’s a swing state. I get that it’s “America’s Heartland”, full of working class, prideful voters, with a history and tradition of doing it for themselves. I get that the Iowa Caucus is the first major kick-off game of the championship play-offs in the winner-takes-all extravaganza that ends in Washington.

Big whoop-dee-whoop.

This ain’t readin’ tea leaves! This shouldn’t be a game of Follow-the-Leader! What Joe & Wendy Schmoe decide they like and want to do in Iowa shouldn’t have such a damn awe-inspiring, head-nodding influence on the rest of the other state races, damnit! Unfortunately, thanks in great part to the media and perpetuated by all sides, that’s exactly what it does. What a freaking bunch of lemmings Americans are.

We’ve got a line-up of frothy asshat morons babbling conspiracy theories to scare, lying kiss-ass promises to coddle, and enough thinly cloaked hatred of you-name-it to incite that I just want to slap everybody real hard up-side their heads and send them to bed without dinner…all the way out to OUTER SPACE!

But, see, now I’m getting all foamy at the mouth…and I have not even yet broke out the soap from this box I’m standing on, much less shoved it onto anybody’s tongue, especially not mine. Time to take a deep breath…sigh…and chillllll.

Now isn’t this picture of the flowerbeds outside The SlaveBox a hell of a lot nicer than anything out of Iowa tonight?

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Ok, that’s it. Talk amongst yourselves. Better yet, shut up and have a glass of wine. 🙂

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