April 2010


Someone I know broadcast on Facebook that they were making a cake. A man-friend. Making a CAKE. Not so very unusual, really, but further prompting and various questions by various other faces on Facebook revealed the oddity: Pineapple Upside-Down Cake! Wow.

My Gran’mere used to make that silly cake. I loved it as a kid, what with the ooey-gooey sticky “topping” & the marischino cherries peeking out like one-eyed monsters from their pineapple-ring rimmed sockets. However, even back then it confused me some. Even as a child I was aware there was something inconsistant with that silly cake & Gran’mere’s normal baked goods. She was eclaire & madeleine queen! Oh, and rum bundt cake with orange icing drizzled in perfect drips over its top & down its sides… & almond ring with its marzipan center… & these fried lacy cookie thingies with powdered sugar. Ah yes…this silly cake, with it’s beginnings in a box of Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker yellow cake mix (a MIX! o_O) & canned (?!) Dole pineapple rings was simply just not the same animal at all! It didn’t even belong in the same zoo!

Oh, but there was something about it that would make my eight-year-old mind turn a blind eye to that confusion, quiet the voice inside my head that questioned my Gran’mere’s reason, & put a huge smile on my face when I would discover it upon entering her empty kitchen through the back porch after school. Plop me in front of my afternoon cartoons & Gilligan’s Island re-runs in her living room with a large slab of that silly cake & a HUGE glass of ice-cold milk and I was as close to heaven as I cared to be! Be gone homework, household chores & clamouring friends & enemies outside! I had CAKE!

Ok. *sigh* Now I miss her mint green kitchen cabinets (mint green?!?) & the smell of the orange peel that she would put on the stove’s gas burner for the scent…

Who has a time machine, anyone? Anyone?? I promise perfect silly cake for anyone who gets me passage back to that perfect moment of bliss…

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You know, I woke up this morning kinda cranky. That and I’m really tired of hearing everybody go on & on about the stupid christian holday. On facebook, on twitter, in my email…everyfreakinwhere! What, are we all six years old now, jumping up & down in front of a brightly-colored basket full of poison treats??

Hey…NEWSFLASH!

Dead person dead.
Dead person, nice as he might have been, did NOT get up & walk outta any cave! (ya think?)
Dead person stayed dead & his people made up propoganda to help them try to buck their legal Roman occupiers (yeah, that worked out real well).
Dead person’s people’s fairy story got outta hand…waaay outta hand.
Millions upon millions of people die as a result.
Along the way, they steal perfectly good pagan holiday practices from perfectly good pagan people everywhere and then stamp them out (ie kill them too) while working said practices into their own uses (twist & bastardize…yeah, great.)

Yeah this is a stupid, sad and ridiculous “holiday”.

Now gimme all your jelly beans and shut up about it! 😉