I am fighting with my computer.

It apparently doesn’t want to do anything lately.  It doesn’t like to show all the pictures on a page…though it will show some, but it’s picky-choosy and who knows why it will show some but not others.  It won’t show me my blog the way it’s designed, nor the Evite I’m sending out the way I’m sure I think I put it together…and (the ok part) won’t show the ads that are all over facebook, Yahoo, et al.  I just get blank boxes, moved around text, and boxes that say “Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage”.

It’s very slow to load, acts like it’s on dial-up (remember that?), doesn’t seem to like my saved links/favorites all the time…sometimes, but not always…and even goes so far as to insult them and say they are “broken”.  But if I open a new window and type the exact same link, it will get to it…eventually.  It doesn’t like to change pages…and sometimes it just never does, the little circle of light continues going round and round telling you that the computer is thinking…but I don’t think it is.  I think it’s stalling.  I think it’s putting the “Do Not Disturb” sign out when it’s really there hanging out watching TV and eating room service.  It’s put the phone down without pushing the hold button and you can hear it crunching away on potato chips…I think I can even smell the salt and vinegar flavoring…

Then again…these, amongst other, things make me very nervous that there is something wrong with the ‘puter, something that needs to be looked at, that I need help fixing…but what I don’t know.  I’ve done The Scan, The Clean-up & Defrag, The Reboot, The U Name It…all the basic, low-level, low-tech-knowledge crap.  Not a chance.  Still fighting with my computer.

I thought I’d be daring and do The System Restore…what can it hurt, right?…but apparently there’s “an error on the disk” and I could not proceed without running The Check Disk Utility, which in turn I cannot run while Windows is being run.  (Huh?? How are you supposed to run anything without the OS running??)  And “Error on the disk”??  That can’t be good…that can be bad, right?…that makes me worry even more…but…

I’m sure it has to be something very simple…something that any regularly computer savvy person could fix…but hubby won’t touch it cuz he says he doesn’t “know Vista” (like how different is it from XP, really?  I mean, with something like this??) and I’m not about to or able to fork over cash to someone for what I am sure is actually something simple that I can figure out…eventually.  Or at least I could probably get some friend/acquaintance to walk me though…

…Right??

*sigh*

So, I continue to fight…and wait…and hope…maybe it will fix itself…

© 2009 D. Kessler

I have vague recollections of a weird space of time each weekday where I stumble toward a rumbling monster, climbing into its mouth and finding it filled with scary zombie-like creatures heaped against each other like hollow rotted logs awaiting a use that never came.

Then, moments later, I am spewed forth onto the wet concrete only to seek some semblance of shelter in a large box…a box filled smaller boxes filled with more similar creatures staring at flickering squares of light and moaning noises reminiscent of curses…

Is that this “morning” thing you reference?

No…can’t be…

© 2009 D. Kessler

I’m tired as hell hearing about the economy.  This bail-out, that bail-out, this Dow Jones, that Nasadaq, what one person thinks it means, the other person’s babble that says it doesn’t, where “WE” ‘re going from here, where “WE” ‘ve been, why “WE” ‘ve been, why “WE” won’t be…AAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

I realize that I must listen to too much NPR.  But then again…do they think, at NPR or anywhere else in broadcasting, that EVERYone is THAT interested in all this blabber about the same thing every frakin’ day??  I mean…how many of us even understand this whole economy thing, really?

Now, I consider myself to be fairly intelligent. Okay, actually…at the risk of sounding like an elitist arrogant snob of grand proportions…I will tell you that I consider myself to be more than fairly intelligent and definitely more intelligent than your average Joe or Wendy Schmoe.  I read Shakespeare for fun when I was in grade school and understood it, couldn’t get enough of it.  I have followed politics since the Nixion/McGovern election when I was six, as I have previously referenced here in this blog.  I skipped most of 4th grade and went directly to 5th grade because I was bored and I could. I scored high enough on placement tests in 9th grade…those designed to help your teachers and counselors to figure out where your aptitude is and what classes you should take, steering you toward your ultimate goal of college, productive citizen etc…that my teachers and counselors let it slip to me that I would mostly be merely going through the motions for the next few years just to earn enough credits to appease the system to get my diploma (the fact that I did not get to go to college and continue in the steps those teachers felt inevitable, is a topic best left alone for now).  I watch PBS and I listen to NPR and PRI (obviously, as previously noted).  I am not a stupid person.

But I am really tired of hearing about practically nothing else but the economy, the economy, the FREAKIN’ E-CON-O-MEEE!  And frankly, I just don’t get it.

Oh, I am quite aware that we are all fucked at the moment, some more than others, but this whole thing about getting the credit out to the people…though understandable in over-all terms of “get the money moving” and the trickle-down effect to the American people, etc…it doesn’t really apply to me and I’m tired of hearing about it.  It doesn’t help me directly…or quite a lot of other people, either.   In fact, hearing about it makes me feel worse, not better.  It makes absolutely no frakin’ difference to me that they are getting the funds out there to help banks and other financial lenders so that they can do that lending that they like to do so well.  I know that it has to be done, I get the theory of it, I have confidence that my beloved President (yes, for real, I love the man), his advisors and maybe even Congress probably know what they are doing and are taking the steps needed to turn the economy around.  But I also know it’s gonna take a while, and a hard arm, to turn this boat…and I definitely don’t need to hear any more about it while we’re waiting to get our nose to pointed to the shore!  Because…

I. DON’T. QUALIFY.  Not for any of it.

Not for a freaking lousy credit card with even a minimum lending limit. Not for a car loan (like I want a petrol guzzling box o’ tin and fiberglass, no thanks!).  Not for a mortgage.  Not for nada.  Not ever, now, or in the past. 

There.  It’s out in the open.  I have a really sucky credit rating, and always have, for reasons I will not burden you with.  I can tell you that I just have worked my ass off for my whole life, trying to stay ahead of the shut-off notice, the delinquent medical bill, trying to keep my self fed and clothed (barely) and a roof over my head…and I am not alone.  Me…a consumer??  With what money would I be such a thing?!  I haven’t bought a new pair of shoes for myself…SHOES!…in at least 3 years.  SHOES!! (and I love shoes…)  Forget about any big-ticket items like a car or a house or anything else…

So, I wish that the media would just shut the hell up.  I don’t need to hear HOW they are doing it anymore.  I just need to know that they ARE doing SOMEthing…something that will work. Something that will get me a few more dollars in my pocket…and I’m not talking credit dollars.  I’m talking real cash, lower prices at the grocery store and more dollars in my take-home pay.  And if that something makes sense to those economist minds that get all that blathering, let them blather.  Just stop doing it on every news radio & television program every which way I turn. 

And now, I will go scrounge for change in all the pockets and drawers in my  apartment just so I can do a single load of laundry before returning to my office grindstone tomorrow.  Then, we’ll heat up leftovers from three days ago for dinner.  Cuz that’s how it rolls in this house, and many millions of others across the nation…and always has.  No different than last week, last year, last decade.  Not in this house.

Until next time…hopefully soon…

© 2009 D. Kessler

This takes the cake.  Now she want’s a…no, really, let me get this straight…A JOB?!  In TELEVISION??!?!

I’m sorry, but I think Ms. Suleman needs serious mental help…and a proverbial slap in the face reality check.  Who the hell does she think she is that she can be the new Dr. Benjamin Spock for the 21 Century??  All the B.A.’s in the world cannot make a dysfunctional psyche purr like a finely tuned motorcar.  Nope.  There’s more going on here…

OCD much?  Yup, I think so.

Munchausen by Proxy?  Hmmm…I maybe a teensy-bit off with that, but…maaay-be not.  It’s really too soon to tell for sure, but some sort of off-shoot is definitely a possibly.  I mean, preemie babies…on purpose??  And you can’t tell me that she didn’t expect preemies with the “expected” seven babies.  Such multiple births are always preemies…with all the extra medical attention required that follows.

Sociopathic tendencies.  Oh, I’d say Sarah Palin’s got a BFF in the making.  Quick!  Call the Governor!  Nadya even has an autistic child!  That should make them Super BFF!

Whatever the case, I think something is definitely  loose in the belfry…and don’t blame the bats, those nice sweet, cute flying rodent-creatures who’s shit in profusion can turn to poisonous gasses. No, no.  I wouldn’t associate such a favorite creature with this woman. 

She is EVIL…either by profuse stupidity (which I doubt as she is smart enough to get a college degree) or by narcissistic design:

“Look at ME!  Look at MEEE!!  I have all these children AND I can tell you how to raise your kids too…’cause I can see my vagina from my house!  I mean…’cause I know how to give birth to LOTS of children at once!  ME!  Make ME famous and rich!”

Okay.  That’s all I can deal with for now or I’m gonna whip myself into such a frenzy I won’t be able to sleep.  But she make me oh-so-ANGRY.

*deep breath*

*forced smile*

See ya’ll tomorrow…one way or the other…

© 2009 D. Kessler

Today is a rant.  A rant about how infantile the media is and how infantile the U.S. is in general.  About how I am fed up with the propaganda that illegalized marijuana and the repugnance I feel for the whole “puritan ethic” that spawned this continuing fiasco.

To be clear, I do not smoke the ganja.  I just can’t do it…even though I love the smell of some of the very high quality stuff and would like to make little sachets for my underwear drawer with it.  I. Just. Don’t. And. Can’t.  You don’t want to see me on THC.  I don’t want to see me on THC.  It speeds up my brain even faster than it already is and my physical being can’t catch up.  It’s not pretty.

That said…

Who the frak cares that Michael Phelps smoked some weed from a bong recreationally?!  He’s 23 years old and I bet a similar percentage of 23 year olds still smoke weed as did when I was 23…and as when my mother was 23.  That’s what 23 year olds do.  If he wants to play around with (aka experiment?) with an herb that has been around for many millennia…in moderation…why shouldn’t he? 

Oohhhh…yeah…we forgot.  It’s illeeegal. Here. In the U.S.  Because of some very well placed continuing (false) propaganda. 

And, oohhhh yeaahh…he’s a “role model” for kids because he’s an Olympian Athlete. 

Okay.  So maybe it wasn’t the best idea for him to smoke some weed and get caught doing it.  For the kids.  Okay.  Well, he apologized for that…for whatever reason and because of whatever pressure was placed on him.   I don’t really think he should have had to do that.  But, we do live where we live in the times we live and…

*sigh*

I’m just working myself up over this and I really don’t feel like fleshing this one out.  I just don’t even see why I need to.  It’s a very cut and dried issue for me:  it’s an herb, it’s less harmful than many other substances that are fully legal and even socially acceptable, it’s something that I wholeheartedly believe that the government should legalize and tax the frak out of so that we can fund whatever it is that needs to be funded that isn’t getting funded.

To get up in arms about a 23 year old smoking something that our founding  fathers grew…for both industrial use, as well as personal use…is just plain preposterous to me. It’s ridiculous.

And it makes me SICK.

There you have it.  Talk amongst yourselves.  Add a comment or five.  Tell me what you think, even (and especially) if you don’t agree with me. 

“In the old time…it was not a crime…” ~ Gogol Bordello

Okay. I’ve said my piece for now on this subject.  It’s not the end, I can tell you…

See you tomorrow…one way or the other…

© 2009 D. Kessler

As I apparently blew off my writing/blogging for the month of January…with the exception of two posts…it was with trepidation that I meandered over to the NaBloPoMo site in search of a new badge for February for the right-side column of my blog’s front page.  Does it make a mockery of the whole idea if I, with my happy little badge declaring that “I write every day!”, don’t fulfill the task?  I mean, you all see that little thing in the corner and go, ‘Yeah, right, Dy.  Sure you’re going to post everyday.  Uh-huh. Ok. Whatever you say.  You know we came by here a number of days last month and you were nowhere to be found.  Totally incognito, kaput, vaporized…just plain GONE.”

*sigh*

Yes, that’s true.  But then there’s the idea that if I stick that badge in the corner that maybe it’ll help nudge me in that direction, sort of a way to guilt me into it, as it were.  Not that I don’t want to write something everyday, it’s just that it seems so hard lately to do so.  I don’t have the helpful external prodding from the media blitz that preceded the election, I don’t have the hours of nothing to do that I did before I re-joined the workforce, I don’t have the brain energy to get wrapped up in some trivial thing and make it a big thing and I certainly don’t seem to have the words free-flowing out my fingertips. 

Not to say that I don’t have the words still stewing and swirling around my brain…they just seem to be having a hard time finding the correct corridor to the exit. 

See, the words that are romping around my head seem be different than the previous ones.  Additionally, they have stifled the cool creative words, the words that really want to/need to get out and about, the words that are interesting and create stories and opinions and observations worth reading.  The non-cool words…aka the Bully Words…sprout from things like financial concerns and getting my living space livable and PMS and general non-happenings that bug me in Real Life…things that are best left in a private journal or hashed out with one’s psychiatrist.  These Bully Words loiter around the hallways of my brain, blocking the exits for the Creative Words…and they apparently think this is a riot.  I imagine them calling out in their best Nelson voice, “Haw-haw!  Look at the freaky-artsy-fartsies trying to get out!  Haw-haw! What a bunch of idiots!  Haw-haw!”  Which, of course, makes the neurotic Creative Words forget all their Coolness and they mill about trying to look cool and pretend that they’re waiting for other Cool Creative Words to hang out with…which means that they never really get out, do they?

Well. We’re. Not. Having. Any of it!  Apparently the geekiest of the Creative Words made it out somehow…or else how do you explain this bizarre metaphor of a story?

So.  February’s topic at NaBloPoMo is WANT…and I WANT to beat those Bully Words to a pulp and get those Cool Creative Words flowing again.  If ya’ll have any ideas on how to get that done, by all means, toss ‘em my way!  In the meantime, it is my full intention to plop some shit on this shingle everyday this month…hopefully some of it will be worth reading.

See ya tomorrow…one way or the other…

© 2009 D. Kessler

[Warning:  The F-word appears a couple of times below in exceptionally required circumstances.  If you don't like it, too bad.  I don't like a lot of things that I have to deal with everyday...and this is just one of them...]

It makes me sick.  It makes me just freakin’ livid.  The fact that the world’s population is so outta hand already, humans having reproduced like cockroaches in a can of shit with not a can of Raid within reach…and now THIS?!?

I thought we lived in a modern, and so-called “enlightened” age.  An age where one does not need to create offspring equaling the number of players on a baseball team in order to make a go of it on the family farm, nor to flesh out the congregation of a fledgling faith and to subsequently send said offspring to the four corners of the earth propagandizing for converts.  So, I would say there is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE for having so many children as this Nadya Suleman! NONE!

Yes, I’m shouting!  I’m hopping fucking insanely ANGRY!!

What good is it to recycle our plastic/glass/aluminum/tin/paper products?  What good is it that we use canvas/nylon/other bags that we bring from home to the grocery store so we don’t increase the landfill by that much more unnecessary crap?  What good is it that I, amongst many others across the nation and the world, refrain from owning/driving/using a car and rely on public transit so that we can reduce the use of petroleum, and therefore reduce the toxic emissions into the air that we and all the plants and animals need to breathe and live?  What good it is that we do ANY of this crap…if people like Nadya Suleman are having eight children (at a time, no less!) when they already have SIX children?!?  This is not the way to reduce the human footprint on the Earth! This is not how to take care of our HOME.

I have long been of the mind that if you want children, by all means get yourself in order and do so.  By “in order” I mean, take care of your health before, during and after your pregnancy/birth/recovery.  By “in order” I especially mean get your head in gear:  take stock of yourself, see a psychiatrist/psychologist to deal with your baggage before you have a kid to take it out on, take child development classes and read books on child psychology so you don’t screw up your budding beautiful person.  By “in order” I mean take the time and effort to realize the impact you are making when you create this new person.  Yes…One New Person. And each one single person has an enormous effect on the Earth and on the other people on that Earth. 

So, it follows for me that each person, if they care about the Earth and any of the people in it, should only reproduce themselves once.  ONCE.  That means Dick and Jane get married (or just live together or whatever), and they have two kids, Johnny and Mary.  Population does not grow, it stabilizes.  Earth disaster partially averted (for now).  Now, if Dick and Jane get divorced, that doesn’t mean that they get to start over with their new spouses and have more kids.  Just one more kid each would be doubling the population, ecosystem destabilizes, we all eventually get screwed.  More so if Dick and Jane started out with six kids…got divorced and then each decided to have more kids.  Saaaayyy…eight more?  You see what I’m getting at?

Yeah, you say, but this isn’t China.  This is the US.  Get the government out of my uterus.  Yep, I agree.  That’s why it’s not a LAW like it is in China.  It’s also not a law to ditch your car, or to recycle, or to use biodegradable cleaning products whenever possible, but it’s still a good idea…and it’s still responsible…and Good People try to do these things.

Oh, but then there are people like Sarah Palin…and Nadya Suleman.

Did I mention that, on top of all the Wrongness & Irresponsibility of having so many children, it appears that Ms. Suleman doesn’t even have a way to support these 14 new children of her’s…nor do her mum and dad with whom she lives?  Her poor father is reported to have deemed it necessary to return to Iraq in order to make money to help support the additional family members.  If you ask me, I think he just needs to get out and away from this crazy…and very cramped…situation!

Yes, correct…cramped.  The family doesn’t have sufficient space in their home for all these children.  I don’t care what you or anyone else says, but a two or three (or even four) bedroom home is NOT sufficient space for 17 persons (or 16 when dad leaves for Iraq)…no matter in what country you’re living!  I mean, even if their home in suburban L.A. is a decently nice home now, I sincerely doubt it will be for long as such a circumstance fosters slum-like conditions.  Think about the wear and tear and cramped quarters, not to mention the sanitary conundrum that will arise.  HOW many children in diapers at once?  (So…HOW many diapers being tossed on the landfill a day?  Or, if they try to act responsibly…I doubt it…and use a diaper service, HOW much more chemicals poured into our water supply?)

The whole living situation brings me to my next concern:  Children’s Welfare.  Being that we’re talking about Whittier, California (that’s the US, people), I would think that so many small children in such a space has to be against some health code somewhere, wouldn’t you think?   I mean, if this were an in-home day-care facility and not a family home, it would clearly violate the laws of California set forth in Title 22, Division 12, Chapter 3 – Family Child Care Homes . Article 6, sec. 102416.5 clearly states:

(c) For a large family child care home, the maximum number of children for whom care shall be provided when there is an assistant provider in the home, including children under age 10 who live in the licensee’s home and the assistant provider’s children under age 10, shall be:

(1) Twelve children, no more than four of whom may be infants;

And it goes on to clarify even futher:

A large family day care home may provide care for more than 12 children and up to and including 14 children, if all of the following conditions are met:

(A) At least two of the children are at least six years of age.
(B) No more than three infants are cared for during any time when more than 12 children are being cared for.

Oh…and let’s not forget that one of Nadya’s children from an earlier birth is autistic, so needs care and attention above and beyond the norm.

Sure, okay…the above link also notes that Nadya has a degree in child development (2006 USC, Fullerton), but that she is also reportedly still going to school to pursue a degree in counseling. So, um…who’s taking care of her six children? And who will be taking care of her eight additional children? And wouldn’t she know better than to pursue such a large family without sufficient resources?  It seems to me, given that she has had a preoccupation with becoming a mother and having vast amounts of children since her hormones kicked in as a teenager, that there is more at play here.  I personally think that Mommy needs some counseling for herself.  Not to mention some basic conscience and ethics!

Normal persons funnel such impulses into a career in child-care, child-development, teaching or such.  Careers that utilize their time and passions to the betterment of the next generations.  Persons that genuinely care at all for children must first insure that any children they have/give birth to are able to be fully supported financially, emotionally, and nutritionally…for the legal requirement of 18 years, if not longer.  How does one do so with so many (14!) children, no employment, and a fragile living situation??  I don’t see how it’s possible.  It is the height of irresponsibility and selfishness on the part of this woman to endanger herself, her children…and even the human race…with her hubris. 

Nay…It’s fucking downright EVIL. And we will all pay for it.  Via taxes to Child Services, via the Future Fucked-Up Generation, via more Human Cockroaches Infesting the Earth. 

Thanks a lot, Ms. Suleman.  Thanks. A. Fucking. Lot. 

For canceling out all the hard work that we’re trying to do. 

For burdening us further with yet more probably fucked-up psyches and the blobs of flesh attached to them. 

I hope your children all grow up to hate you.  I sure do.

© 2009 D. Kessler

I have no words.  Only tears.  Tears of Relief.  Tears of Joy.  Tears of Laughter and  Happiness.  Tears…they just keep coming throughout the day, at odd times, for seeming no apparent or prompted reason.  I think it must be similar to what a victim of a violent and stressful crime…such as kidnapping and rape, or the prolonged bombing of your home…must feel when they realize it’s over and the relief sweeps in and  emotions can’t be kept in check…NOT ONE BIT.

Oh, we know everything is not going to be all bluebirds and rainbows, shiny happy people holding hands, free-flowing champagne and caviar.  No, we know there’s a lot of work ahead.  But, Goddamnit!  At least we have a fighting chance now!  The ones that have been making the mess for way to many years, faster than we can even contemplate cleaning it up much less make any head-way, have LEFT THE BUILDING.  That’s right…we FIRED them back in November and now the new guy has arrived, broom in hand and, with our help holding the dust pan, maybe some of this crap can go out with the very few scraps left from our tables.

That’s all I got today. As I said…words cannot describe…I just…well, here come the water-works again…Pass me that box o’ Kleenex, will ya?

© 2009 D. Kessler

I must tell you, I have an issue with the whole “New Year” thing. I’m not a bah-humbug type…Oh god, really, I’m not.  I love the Holidays, I love the special-ness and of course,  any reason for a party!  Almost every year, I make some sort of plans for New Year’s Eve, and I very genuinely mean to follow through.  However, often after doing so, I don’t feel like it when the night arrives.  Even when I do follow through with the exuberant festivities I’ve eagerly planned,  I feel…tainted.  A sour taste in my proverbial mouth.  I lack-luster anticlimactic *poof!*…the whole thing just seems all so forced to me and I feel cheap and used and like a user.

There’s nothing in the calendar of nature that excuses this obvious (to me) falsification of the holiday.  Why is it today, of all days?  I mean, yes I get the history.  We now use the Gregorian version of the calendar and in 153 BC the Powers that Be (aka the Roman Consuls, with the ratification of the Roman Senate) officially changed  “new year’s day” to January 1st…THE DAY (and/corresponding eve) to celebrate, apparently.  But there is no solstice, no change in weather/seasons…nothing for me with which to link it.  It really bothers me…almost on a cellular level.

Way back when, the Greeks and Romans originally celebrated the new year with the Winter Solstice (aka Yule, for any of the Euro-pagan learned/leaning types)…marking when the sun “returned” and the days began to lengthen.  THAT makes sense to me.  Many cultures, including the Phoenicians, Persians and Egyptians, marked their new year at the Autumn Equinox…when the Summer light dwindled and the the wane of warmth was most apparent.  THAT makes sense to me…and seems to loosely correspond with the Wiccan “new year” of Samhain (aka Hallowe’en to all you raised in the Christian western world).  Then, there are those earth-based religions that mark their new year with the Spring Equinox…when the Earth revives and the new Life is sprouting everywhere…either obvious and apparent above ground (I love those first crocuses!), or as yet imperceptibly in the earth or womb.  THAT really makes the most sense to me.  All these reasons make me feel like an awful cheating lover, wooing someone else behind my loved-one’s back, when/if I make a big hoopla on Dec 31st/Jan 1st! 

And then I get disgusted.

Disgusted with the mindless Hoople-heads that make any public holiday so annoying to be out and about.  See…maybe I want to bend a little and be with my friends and their perception and happiness of the “New Year”, regardless of my own thing.  I mean, I can go to mass for the beauty and magic of it, and not have to believe in the whole Son-of-God/Virgin-Birth concept…and still enjoy and appreciate it, can’t I?  Well, so I should be able to do so with this whole “New Year” thing!  But the asinine Weekend Warriors (as my sister calls them…they’ll always be Hoople-heads to me after Deadwood…)…my GAWD!  Do they really need this holiday to exhibit their Stupidity?  Their Blatant Audacity?  Their…Name-Your-Undesirable-Quality-Here!  I mean, it’s not even 8:00 pm yet and outside my window, on my “quiet” residential city street, I already am hearing “Whoo-hooooo!” and “YEE-AAHH!”…amid cackling laughter and various idiotic snippets of “conversation” from those that would be “revelers”.

Yes…now I sound like an Old Fogie.  I sound like a Bah-Humbug Bitch.  But some people’s children are just so offensive that I just don’t want to be around them and there are SO many more of them out on a night like this.

Used to be, I was younger and could just drink more, take more drugs, whatever, to ignore them.  It springs to mind now that maybe some thought of me in the same terms as I am now thinking of Them.  I’m not so self-delusional to dismiss such a possibility altogether…but I really rather doubt it.  For one, I didn’t usually need a forced-upon-me-holiday like “New Year’s” to indulge myself…in fact, I have felt this way about the “holiday” for many, many years.  I did, however, do as I mentioned above…go out with my friends (and overindulge!) to share in their enjoyment of the holiday, thereby creating more enjoyment in turn on my end.

The Gregorian New Year is not my holiday…I have my own holiday(s).  Yule…which we just finished…and coming up, Ostara (the Spring Equinox).  THAT’s my real New Year. And though I do wish all of you a very Happy and Prosperous New Year (by the Gregorian calendar)…rest assured that my real and more abundant blessing is still to come.

Stay safe.  Stay Happy.  And whatever you do…STAY AWAY FROM THE HOOPLE-HEADS!

Brightest Blessings from Seattle…to get you through to Spring…

©2008 D. Kessler

For some reason, I had it in my head that I could not fail.  That I, by sheer will and fortitude, would succeed.  That despite a new job, the resulting reduced time to myself at home with my own ‘puter, and the exposure to a plethora of new and untold germs/bacteria/viruses that my new workplace allowed me to access…I would be unwavering in my task.  That, despite the impending Holidays and the flurry of baking, cooking, planning, wrapping (and drinking!) that normally precedes and accompanies such events…I would be impervious to distraction and would soldier on!  In the words of Cmdr. Peter Quincy Taggart:  “Never give up! Never surrender!”

But alas, and alack!  I have failed.  I am apparently NOT full of paranormally abundant levels fortitude, stick-to-itive-ness, or of whatever else it takes to get through 31 days of December without missing more than a day of writing.   All it took was a few little germs I wasn’t used to, a whole LOT of snow (for Seattle), and a sidetracked step or two in the direction of Hearty Good Cheer (aka holiday drinks in a warm bar!) and we just plumb up and put our writing cap on a top shelf somewhere in the back of a closet along with the hidden gifts and didn’t apparently want to be bothered to look for it or to climb up to get it later.

Yes…I got a cold.  Then, when I got better, I got cabin fever.  And with what little time I had at home to myself after that, it seemed like a preposterous idea to ask myself to sit and type at a computer…as that’s what I’d been doing all day every day at work, but for someone else!  Then, there were cookies to bake for Christmas (Oh boy, these are melt-in-your-mouth-wonderful!), little-somethings to find and wrap for unexpected-but-very-loved guests, a Mimosas & Waffles Brunch to plan/prepare, a  Mexican feast to get lost in (both the prep and the consumption of!)…my gosh, I don’t know what happened!

So, now it’s been many days since the little bug-like figures that are the English alphabet have been freed upon the page…and sadly, all that I have today is this meandering apology slash holiday play-by-play. 

But, aside from getting a cold, I’ve been having fun…mostly…and I am starting to get used to having a normal work schedule, little by little.  So, I’m pretty optimistic that after the Hubbub of the Holidays winds down a bit, we’ll get our stride back.

Well, either that, or I’ve absolutely GOT to find out where I can enroll in some Discover Your Super-Human Self!-type classes!

© 2008 D. Kessler